By: A. Harmony
I overheard a young couple arguing a few nights ago. The girl was complaining that she wasn’t getting enough attention from her boyfriend, to which he replied: “what do you mean? I text you all the time and when I’m not with you we talk on Skype. I spend time with you every day!” She whined that a text message “didn’t count”. I found this rather interesting and so I asked a few of my friends what they thought and the general consensus was a bit odd: “digital communication in a relationship doesn’t count because it’s ‘not the same’”.
I do agree that a text, BBM convo or video session on Skype is no replacement for face to face human interaction. There is something to be said for holding your lover’s hand or feeling their body heat, or being able to look them in their eyes and say a million words without speaking. There will NEVER EVER be a substitute for real human contact. BUT, to say that digital communication “doesn’t count” for something is totally hypocritical when I’ve seen so many people go OFF on their mate for indecent digital contact.
I have witnessed MANY fights and even break-ups happen because of text messages. I’ve seen tons of friends “facebook sleuthing” and hacking into e-mail inboxes, only to fly into a rage when they find messages from other girls/guys. Athletes, actors, and even politicians have landed themselves in hot water from scandalous text messages found on their phones. Even I got into a huge argument with a guy I used to date, all because I wouldn’t change my Facebook status to “in a relationship”. (He chewed me out on MSN—I could tell he was pissed by all the capital letters and angry smileys he used. He even put me in the cyber doghouse—blocked me on his list for two weeks)! At the risk of pissing off many of my friends, why is it that receiving an “I love you” text from your man is ‘not the same’, but seeing an “I love you” text on his phone from a another woman is enough to key up his car?
As technology advances, the structure of social institutions change as well. Back in the 80’s, a blackberry was a fruit and mobile phones were a luxury reserved for prominent business men and Zack Morris. Today, even homeless people have cellies (real talk. But that’s a story for a different article)…
Back in the day, it was “can I get your phone number?”; now dudes are asking for my pin. While serving in the military, many soldiers meet their newborn babies via Skype! I am not advocating texts and BBM convos as a replacement for a hug or a real date. But to complain that they “don’t count” for anything is a flat out lie. Are you holding your mate up to a digital double standard?
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